Birthday is miserable for a loner. You are used to solitude and you don't feel its pain until one day you realize it does not have to be so. Birthday is a time to remind you of your need to be loved and to be with the others. While in normal days you can ignore all those needs and stuff your life with trivialities and diversions, and persuade yourself that it is advantageous for most of the time to be an unthinking creature. So that you shield yourself from too much tenderness and excessive emotions. Afterall, that good will that do?
All in a sudden you become sentimental and want to let out your pent-up emotions by telling and shedding tears. You know it will do no good and you are warning yourself again and again:
Don't victimize yourself.
Just once. Just this time. Let me follow my heart.
And tomorrow it will all be fine.



